December 29, 2010
In honor of the first night of Hannukah, I wanted to share some amazing gift ideas with you all. You’re welcome.
Irony of the day…
As someone who may never actually get married (Mom, if you’re reading this… plese stop crying. You already have 2 grandkids) it’s ironic I was photographed, seated in the first row of a bridal fashion show. Look at my dumbass head popping into all the pics.
I went for the free cupcakes… don’t judge me.
Don’t leave me to my own devices when I have a cold…
I ate some raspberries from my fridge not realizing till I brought them out into the light that they are molded. Am I gonna die!?!? Ugh. Death by raspberries. How embarrassing…
For Halloween this year I’ve decided to dress up as a gift box. ‘Cause let’s be honest… I’m a gift from God.
Leggo My Eggo. Nom Nom. Yom. Yom.
I’m a Jew. Not a good one at that. So on these holiest days of the Jewish year, I am once again reminded of that fact. Yom Kippur is the day in which Jews are supposed to fast for 24 hours and atone for your sins… I realized however, this year, I had none.
So I had a couple Eggos this morning. And then I felt horribly guilty.
Ugh. I’m totally a Jew.
Never has drinking tea been so damn naughty.
I’m sending a pack of these to Sarah Palin. She will not be able to ‘refudiate’ their awesomeness…
My week is more awesome than your week
I’m hesitant to post this blog post seeing as there may be an exuberant amount of jealousy surrounding me.
Sunday- got a migraine.
Monday- lingering migraine with a side of a sore throat. Do I have to leave a tip?
Tuesday- Woke up with a gnarly summer cold. Sure, it’s 80 degrees outside, but man, am I craving some piping hot tomato soup.
Wednesday- Oh hello cold! I wasn’t sure if you were gonna leave me so soon. Glad to see you wanna stick around for a bit. How about a game of Scattegories?!
Thursday- What’s that cold? You’ve turned yourself into a massive head cold, with the congestion plugging up every hole (above the neck) Now, while my mouth still works, it’s now only used to cuss. Hello, sinus migraine. Hello you sneaky fuckin’ bastard.
Friday- Oh hey migraine, thanks for hanging with me on this lovely Friday! A week long of migraine medicine combined with cold medicine cannot be good. But hey, if I’m gonna die, can I at least be migraine free? ‘Cause I’m gonna be one bitchy ass ghost.
I wanna be as happy as these ladies…
These are the moments that I think “WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT!?”
I’ve never claimed to be a classy chick. But with these suckers, I can pretend! And it’s all about perception, right?
I’m sure the wine is crap and bound to give me a raging migraine the next day… but um, they are super cute. Kids are super cute and give me raging migraines. I rather drink. With your kids of course. They should learn classy first hand.
Chomp Chomp Chomp.
There are two types of people in the world.
Really awesome people… and people who FUCKIN’ CHEW ICE!
Seriously. It’s not a food group, people.
If you’re thirsty, drink something cold.
If you want something cold and refreshing, have a popsicle.
If you need something to chomp on, get a fuckin’ teether. I’ll even freeze it for you.
But for the love of my sanity, STOP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMPING ON ICE!
Errr… Is this what temporary insanity looks like? May I mention how very nice you look today, Your Honor…
Really can’t stand Jaden and Willow Smith.
Can the family just admit they’re Scientologists so I have ample reason to make fun of them?